YM 1.1
- Open Government
First airtime BBC: 25 February 1980
Length: 30 minutes
| Cast | Crew | |||
| Jim Hacker MP | Paul Eddington | Studio lighting | Duncan Brown | |
| Sir Humphrey Appleby | Nigel Hawthorne | Costume designer | Dorothea Wallace | |
| Bernard Woolley | Derek Fowlds | Make-up artist | Kim Burns | |
| Sir Arnold Robinson | John Nettleton | Cameraman | Paul Wheeler | |
| Vic Gould (Chief Whip) | Edward Jewesbury | Film Editor | Michael Casey | |
| Annie Hacker | Diana Hoddinott | Vision mixer | Joan Duncan | |
| Frank Weisel | Neil Fitzwiliam | Film Sound | Ron Blight | |
| Announcer Jim's victory | Norman Mitchell | Studio sound | Alan Machin | |
| Lloyd Pritchard | David Moran | Music | Ronnie Hazlehurst | |
| BBC PM producer | Fraser Kerr | Title sequence | Gerald Scarfe | |
| Producer's assistant | Diane Taylor | |||
| Production assistant | Brian Jones | |||
| Designer | Jim Clay | |||
| Producer | Stuart Allen | |||
| Writers | Antony Jay & Jonathan Lynn | |||
Plot: James George Hacker wins the election in
his constituency Birmingham East and is whispered to become a
Minister in the new government. The day after the election he
sits nervously by the phone waiting for the Prime Minister to
give him a call, but every time the phone rings it is someone
else. Then finally he gets the call he has been waiting for: the
Prime Minister wants him to become Minister at the Department for
Administrative Affairs.
After his appointment he heads of for his new Department where he
meets his Principal Private Secretary Bernard Woolley and his
Permanent Secretary Sir Humphrey Appleby. Jim Hacker immediately
wants to get started with fulfilling his Party's promise of open
government. Although he expected a lot of resistance from the
Civil Service, Sir Humphrey has already prepared a white paper on
the reform of the Civil Service,
and proposes to call the paper
Open Government. Jim Hacker is impressed!
He demands that his political advisor Frank Weisel will get an
office near his, and that Frank will get all the paperwork that
he gets. The next week Sir Humphrey has a meeting with Sir Arnold
Robinson (the Cabinet Secretary) at a club for senior civil
servants. There he learns that the PM is anxious to close a defense trade agreement with the United States, and that nothing
should be done to rock the Anglo-American boat. Sir Humphrey
immediately phones one of his employees to put an invoice for
American computer equipment in one of the red boxes.
When Frank Weisel and Jim Hacker find this invoice they are
outraged that the order was not placed with a British
manufacturer. They want this order to be canceled, but Sir
Humphrey points out this is beyond their power. Under the open
government principle Jim Hacker therefore wants to publish this
order and make a speech blaming the previous government and the
criminal nature of
American salesmen. Sir Humphrey makes sure
this speech is circulated to all relevant departments and is
released to the press.
Then all hell breaks loose at the PM's office when they see Jim
Hacker's speech. He is summoned to come to the PM's office, where
he get a talking-to by the Chief Whip. Sir Arnold is appalled by his indiscretion and asks Sir Humphrey what he was thinking of.
Sir Humphrey claims he and his Minister believe in open
government, but Sir Arnold observes that this is the closed
season for open government.
To save his position Jim Hacker asks whether there is no way to
hush the whole thing up. Bernard Woolley rushes in and tells the
Minister that the speech has not been released to the press
because it was not cleared. Sir Humphrey explains that clearance
was a procedure that dated from before the era of open
government, and he "begs" his Minister to forgive him.
Jim Hacker is very willing to forgive this since everyone makes
mistakes. His position as Minister is saved.
Rating (0-10): 7
Top 5 Quotes:
-
Bernard Woolley: "Minister, allow
me to present Sir Humphrey Appleby, Permanent Under
Secretary of State and head of the DAA."
Jim Hacker: "Hello, Sir Humphrey."
Sir Humphrey: "Hello and welcome."
Bernard Woolley: "I believe you know each other."
Sir Humphrey: "Yes, we did cross swords when the Minister gave me a grilling over the estimates in the Public Accounts Committee."
Jim Hacker: "I wouldn't say that."
Sir Humphrey: "You came up with all of the questions I hoped nobody would ask."
Jim Hacker: "Well, opposition is about asking awkward questions."
Sir Humphrey: "And government is about not answering them."
Jim Hacker: "Well, you answered all mine anyway."
Sir Humphrey: "I'm glad you thought so, Minister." -
Jim Hacker: "Who else is in this
department?"
Sir Humphrey: "Well briefly, Sir, I am the Permanent Under Secretary of State, known as the Permanent Secretary. Woolley here is your Principal Private Secretary, I too have a Principal Private Secretary and he is the Principal Private Secretary to the Permanent Secretary. Directly responsible to me are 10 Deputy Secretaries, 87 Under Secretaries and 219 Assistant Secretaries. Directly responsible to the Principal Private Secretary are plain Private Secretaries, and the Prime Minister will be appointing 2 Parliamentary Under Secretaries and you will be appointing your own Parliamentary Private Secretary."
Jim Hacker: "Do they all type?" -
Frank Weisel: "Did you know that
Martin has got the Foreign Office, Jack has got
Health, and Fred has got Energy."
Annie Hacker: "Has anyone got brains?"
Jim Hacker: "You mean Education?"
Annie Hacker: "No, I know what I mean."
Jim Hacker: "Well, what's left? I mean, what have I got?
Annie Hacker: "Rhythm?" -
Bernard Woolley: "It used to be
said there were two kinds of chairs to go with two
kinds of Ministers: one sort that folds up instantly,
the other sort goes round and round in circles." -
Bernard Woolley: "Well, yes, Sir...I mean, it [open government] is the Minister's policy
after all."
Sir Arnold: "My dear boy, it is a contradiction in terms: you can be open or you can have government."
YM 1.2 - The Official Visit
First airtime BBC: 3 March 1980
Length: 30 minutes
| Cast | Crew | |||
| Jim Hacker MP | Paul Eddington | Assistant floor manager | Jackie Foot | |
| Sir Humphrey Appleby | Nigel Hawthorne | Studio lighting | Peter Winn | |
| Bernard Woolley | Derek Fowlds | Costume designer | Jackie Southern | |
| Martin (Foreign Secretary) | Tenniel Evans | Make-up artist | Dorka Nieradzik | |
| Jumbo | John Savident | Film Editor | Ron Bowman | |
| President Selim Mohammed | Thomas Baptiste | Vision mixer | Joan Duncan | |
| BBC News reader | Robert Dougall | Studio sound | Richard Chamberlain | |
| Bill Pritchard | Antony Carrick | Music | Ronnie Hazlehurst | |
| Title sequence | Gerald Scarfe | |||
| Producer's assistant | Judy Loe | |||
| Production assistant | Brian Jones | |||
| Design | Tim Gleeson | |||
| Producer | Sydney Lotterby | |||
| Writers | Antony Jay & Jonathan Lynn | |||
Plot: Sir Humphrey presents his Minister Jim
Hacker a document regarding the upcoming State visit of the
President of Buranda. The DAA needs to solve some administrative
problems in the light of this visit, since the Queen will be in
Scotland at that time so arrangements must be made for her to
travel to London. The visit is going to be highly important
because Buranda will become an oil-rich country in the near
future and will need oil rig equipment, preferably bought from
Britain.
Jim Hacker has a brilliant plan to solve this problem; the Queen
will not have to travel if the visit is held in Scotland. And
another important reason for him is that there are three Scottish
by-elections coming up, all in marginal constituencies, which can
be held straight after the visit. Sir Humphrey is not pleased
about this plan which he views as a vote-grubbing exercise. Also
when the visit is going to be held in Scotland, Sir Humphrey
wouldn't be able to attend (probably only the Permanent Secretary
of the Scottish Office will be invited). Jim Hacker however is
persistent and has no problem persuading this Cabinet colleagues.
Sir Frederick (Permanent Secretary of the Foreign Office) however
informs Sir Humphrey that the visit probably will never happen
because of a rumored communist coup d'état in Buranda.
The next night Jim Hacker learns from the BBC news that this coup
d'état has actually taken place, and that the new
President Selim Mohammed has taken office.
Jim Hacker confers with the Foreign Secretary and they decide to
reissue the invitation for the visit to the new President. Sir
Humphrey is appalled by this since they have no information about
the intentions and plans of this new President. He strongly
advises his Minister to cancel the visit but Jim Hacker is
determined (because of three Scottish by-elections that depend on
this visit).
The next week the new President of Buranda arrives in Great
Britain. Jim Hacker immediately recognizes this new President as
Charlie Umtali, a former fellow student at the London School of
Economics.
While traveling to Scotland, Jim Hacker gets an advanced copy of
the speech
Charlie is planning to deliver the next day in the
presence of the Queen. In that speech he urges the Scots and
Irish to fight against English oppression. In a meeting with Sir
Humphrey, Sir Frederick, the Foreign Secretary and Bill Pritchard
(the Press Officer) they conclude that this advanced copy of the
speech was sent as a bargaining point. Everyone agrees that his
old friend Jim Hacker must go and talk with Charlie to see how he
might be persuaded to change the speech.
When Jim Hacker and Sir Humphrey visit Charlie Umtali the next
morning, it turns out that the only way to persuade him to make
the appropriate changes is if Britain will lend him 50 million
pounds interest free with repayment not to start for 10 years. He
will use this loan to buy oil rig equipment in Britain. Sir
Humphrey is aghast and views it as blackmail. Jim Hacker however
is pleased by this offer that will also provide for more jobs.
And Jim Hacker carefully reminds Sir Humphrey that not solving
this problem will hurt Sir Humphrey's chances of upcoming
honours. Then finally they all agree that this deal is in
everyone's interest and Jim Hacker remarks that everyone has his
price (or prize?).
Rating (0-10): 8
Top 5 Quotes:
-
Jim Hacker: "Burandan Airways,
they are doing well. How many planes have they
got?"
Sir Humphrey: "None."
Jim Hacker: "Use your eyes, Humphrey, what about that one?"
Sir Humphrey: "That one was chartered from Freddie Laker last week and repainted specially. Actually there is one 747 that belonged to nine different African airlines in one month. They called it the mumbo-jumbo." -
Jim Hacker: "Humphrey, do you
think it is a good idea to issue a statement?"
[as a response to the planned speech of the President
of Buranda urging the Scots and Irish to fight
against English oppression]
Sir Humphrey: "Well, Minister, in practical terms we have the usual six options: One, do nothing. Two, issue a statement deploring the speech. Three, lodge an official protest. Four, cut of aid. Five, break off diplomatic relations. And six, declare war."
Jim Hacker: "Which should be it?"
Sir Humphrey: "Well, if we do nothing we implicitly agree with the speech. Two, if we issue a statement we'll just look foolish. Three, if we lodge a protest it'll be ignored. Four, we can't cut of aid because we don't give them any. Five, if we break off diplomatic relations we can't negotiate the oil rig contracts. And six, if we declare war it might just look as though we were over-reacting." -
Jim Hacker: "Martin, what's all
this about Buranda?"
Martin (Foreign Secretary): "What's all what?"
Jim Hacker: "There's been a coup d'état."
Martin: "How do you know?"
Jim Hacker: "Well, it was on the news. Didn't you see? Don't you know? You're Foreign Secretary, for God's sake."
Martin: "Yes, but my TV set is on the blink."
Jim Hacker: "Your TV set? Don't you get Foreign Office telegrams?"
Martin: "Oh, they always come in later. I get all the Foreign news from TV." -
Jim Hacker: "What am I going to
do with all this correspondence?"
Bernard Woolley: "You do realize you don't actually have to, Minister."
Jim Hacker: "Don't I?"
Bernard Woolley: "Not if you don't want to, we can draft an official reply."
Jim Hacker: "What's an official reply?"
Bernard Woolley: "It just says The Minister has asked me to thank you for your letter and we say something like The matter is under consideration, or even if we feel so inclined under active consideration."
Jim Hacker: "What's the difference?"
Bernard Woolley: "Well, under consideration means we've lost the file, under active consideration means we're trying to find it." -
Jim Hacker: "Bernard, this
government is here to govern, not merely preside like
our predecessors did. When a country is going
downhill, it is time for someone to get into the
driving seat, and put his foot on the
accelerator."
Bernard Woolley: "I think you mean the brake."
YM 1.3 - The Economy Drive
First airtime BBC: 10 March 1980
Length: 30 minutes
| Cast | Crew | |||
| Jim Hacker MP | Paul Eddington | Assistant floor manager | Jackie Foot | |
| Sir Humphrey Appleby | Nigel Hawthorne | Studio lighting | Peter Winn | |
| Bernard Woolley | Derek Fowlds | Costume designer | Jackie Southern | |
| Annie Hacker | Diana Hoddinott | Make-up artist | Dorka Nieradzik | |
| Frank Weisel | Neil Fitzwiliam | Film Editor | Ron Bowman | |
| Jumbo | John Savident | Vision mixer | Joan Duncan | |
| Ron Watson | Milton Johns | Studio sound | Richard Chamberlain | |
| Mandy | Patricia Shakesby | Music | Ronnie Hazlehurst | |
| Nelly | Pat Keen | Title sequence | Gerald Scarfe | |
| French ambassador | William Lawford | Producer's assistant | Judy Loe | |
| Reporter | Frank Tregear (?) | Production assistant | Brian Jones | |
| Design | Tim Gleeson | |||
| Producer | Sydney Lotterby | |||
| Writers | Antony Jay & Jonathan Lynn | |||
Plot: Jim Hacker is being accused of letting the
waste of government money continue within the Civil Service. Sir
Humphrey tells him there is no way to slim down the Civil Service
because of the continuous stream of new laws by the House of
Parliament.
Jim Hacker then sends out his political advisor Frank Weisel to
search for examples of government waste. Sir Humphrey is
dedicated to stop any spending cuts and plans for Operation
Hairshirt, an operation that will cause Hacker to feel the effect
of spending cuts personally.
When Frank Weisel returns from his research trip and reports his
findings, Sir Humphrey presents a rational explanation for every
example of waste within the DAA. He then proposes to cut on
luxury expenditures, starting with the chauffeur driven
car and
private office of Jim Hacker. Although hesitant at first, Jim
Hacker enthusiastically embraces the idea as soon as he realizes
the press coverage it would generate.
Soon however the unpleasantness of these spending cuts comes home
to Jim Hacker as his agenda becomes chaotic, the Civil Service
Transport Union goes on strike and he is photographed lying in
the gutter. On top of that an article in the Times reports that
he has hired an additional 400 people for a time-and-motion study
at the DAA.
Now Sir Humphrey comes to his "rescue" by suggesting to
axe these vacancies, as well as the vacancies at the Bureaucratic
Watchdog Office. As a real spending cut he presents Jim Hacker a
plan to reduce the number of tea ladies.
Rating (0-10): 8
Top 5 Quotes:
-
Sir Humphrey: "British Leyland measure their success by the size of
their profits, or
to be more accurate, they measure their failure by the
size of their losses." -
Sir Humphrey: "Politicians like
to panic, they need activity. It's their substitute
for achievement." -
Sir Humphrey: "Ladysmith House is
top secret."
Jim Hacker: "How can a seven storey building in Walthamstow be top secret?"
Sir Humphrey: "Where theres a will, theres a way." -
[Quoting an article in the Express
about the fact that Inland Revenue has more employees
than the Royal Navy]
Frank Weisel: "Perhaps the government thinks that a tax is the best form of defense." -
Sir Humphrey: "The public
doesnt know anything about wasting government
money, we're the experts."